Relations between men and women in present-day Ukraine often resemble a comedy drama. They are a kind of reflection of our society. A country that mentally is situated at the junction of Europe and Asia, East and West, the Russian-Soviet past and an uncertain future, clearly shows the complexity of the financial issue in male-female relationships.
A man's expenses for a woman largely depend on the specifics of her sociopsychological portrait. In Ukraine today, there are three basic types of women: the western, the transitional or mixed, and the eastern type.
Western (European) type of woman
Women with such a set of social characteristics and psychological principles in the Ukrainian society are not very common. The influencing factors here are the complicated socio-economic situation, the "feudal" market relations, and the heavy Soviet heritage. However, the time is not standing still. Modern trends in the XXI. can not be stopped. Gradually the share of women whose outlook is based on the principles of equality not only in a legal, but also in a financial sense, is growing.
Such representatives of the fair sex are distinguished not so much by their income, as by their evident desire to be independent and completely equal individuals as compared to the male race. For such women, the fact that a man always pays for them in a café, restaurant, buys them cosmetics, jewelry, clothing, holiday tickets, or regularly invests significant sums of money into other areas of women's happiness is perceived as abnormal. Their minds are revolted by the idea that someone is spending money on them. For "Western women" such actions are abusive and may indicate a hint at their inferiority, their inability to provide themselves. Or about men's claims to ownership. A European woman feels uncomfortable feeling that financial investments on the part of a man oblige her somehow in the future.
If you are lucky enough to find a woman of this type, you should know that they do not require too large financial injections. They are quite financially independent personalities. Their income is usually close to men's. You are unlikely to keep them with the help of financial investments. Neither can you load such a woman with all the housework, because it contradicts the principle of full (not episodic) equality of the sexes.
On the other hand, women of the European type, too, would be glad to receive gifts made from the heart, not because all people do it. At least on their birthday, March 8, Valentine's Day and the New Year. Most probably they will not refuse to receive flowers and other expressions of attention. Here, the size of a man's budget depends on his personal decision and financial resources. The average annual costs can vary considerably: from 1000 UAH to several thousands. At the same time, women in this group also tend to give gifts in return.
Transitional (mixed) type of woman
This is the most widespread type among Ukrainian women. The sociopsychological characteristics are a combination of traits of the European and the Asian worlds. These women, in certain cases, like to use ideological clichés like - "he is a man, he must, he is obliged to"- referring to the rules of etiquette, but often taking advantage of these rules. Verbally, they support the constitutional equality of the sexes, but in some cases they prefer not to apply this rule. Sometimes they can be suspected of trying to use the benefits of the European gender policy together with some elements of financial provision that are more common in the East. So, the principle of the equality for them is not an absolute, but a selective concept.
Women of this category are not "kept women". They have jobs, but they need some financial support. Their incomes, for various reasons, are not enough to provide a worthy life of a woman.
Partly the need to financially help this type of woman is explained by the fact that the average salary of the fairer sex in Ukraine 30 - 35% lower than that of men. The revenues of the latter often play a subsidizing and a compensatory function. Giving a part of their earnings to women, men repair the gender inequality in salary. However, often this amount of the family tranche automatically translates the man to the category of less well-to-do than his wife.
According to the official statistics, the average salary of a woman in Ukraine approaches 1900 - 2000 UAH, and that of a man - 2600 - 2650 UAH. Financial transactions of a husband in favor of his wife, according to respondents, take 30 to 70% of his revenues away from him. Then the average Ukrainian man stays with about half of his salary. In Ukrainian reality it is about 1300 UAH. While the financial provision of a woman improves to the level of almost 3300 UAH. Of course, with the rise in the husband's profits, there is a proportional increase in the amount of transfers to the wife's account.
A woman of mixed type will cost a man at least 12 - 15 thousand UAH a year. The upper limit of expenses can reach several tens of thousands. Note that this amount exceeds the cost of the public utilities and is enough to rent an apartment in a big city if not in the capital.
Eastern (Asian) type of woman
This type can also be found on the Ukrainian territory. Its appearance was caused by the historical development and specific socioeconomic structure of the society. The main feature of the eastern type of woman in Ukraine is her firm belief that man's primary mission is to provide the financial support. If men do not agree with that, they are "not real men, losers who have not succeeded in life".
These persons, not being Muslims, have well mastered one part of the Sharia law: a man is the breadwinner for the family and must earn money for his wife and children. But they forgot the other part of the tenets of Islam, which provides for certain duties. For example, a woman, according to Sharia, should obey her husband and respect him, do all the housework, take care of his property and honour. When leaving the house, a woman should ask for permission from her husband, even if she is going to see her parents. In the East, a woman has no right to let someone in without her husband's permission, even if these are his relatives. According to Islam, a woman must take into account the financial situation of the husband and should not demand luxury or hold someone else up as an example, should bring up the children, always look perfect and always be glad to see her husband.
The financial expenses for these women are substantial. They are growing because this type of woman luckily combines the legal foundations of European equality and the financial provision of the eastern type. That is, the woman uses the advantages of both systems, but ignores her responsibilities.
Investments into the Ukrainian woman of Asian type are not limited to money. Flowers, clothing, cosmetics, jewellery, travels will not be enough. It is about real estate or at least about a car. For women of this type, getting the property rights often serves as a guarantee against possible disturbances of life and a proof of the man's love.
Women of this type may work, too, but they often prefer to have a formal job. To ensure their happy living, a man must spend at least 100 thousand UAH a year. And he should not forget about expensive gifts. Buying a car and real estate will help improve the microclimate in the family and normalize the relations for a long time. Men, whose incomes do not very much exceed the country's average, are not recommended to invest in persons of this type.
To study the opinions of the Ukrainian society, we asked some of its representatives to answer a simple question: how much does a woman cost? The views of respondents, on the whole, confirm our conclusions.
In Ukraine, the predominant type of woman is the transitional (mixed) type with the corresponding type of relationships. This is an interesting blend of eastern and western components of social conventionalism and innovative modern. Men, in general, admit that a woman requires considerable investment. However, they apparently do not feel very enthusiastic about the fulfilment of this prestigious function. Women tend to perceive the regular financial support as something absolutely regular and appeal to the old unwritten rules. All this is extraordinarily intertwined with the spirit of European equality and Asian financial dependence.
Serhiy, 21, married
My average yearly expenses amount to 10,000 UAH. However, there are notable seasonal fluctuations. In general, there is only one rule applicable here: no matter how much money you give to a woman, she will spend it all anyway.
Katia, 21, single
Men do not spend money on me. I pay for myself.
Mikhaylo, 30, married
All the money is spent on the wife, except for the money that is spent on the child. Generally it all depends on the income level. Seriously though, one woman "extracts" 40 - 50% of the man's income out of him.
Tania, 23, married
On average, my husband spends approximately 9 - 10 thousand UAH a year on my needs. This figure includes summer vacations, going out, gifts. For the rest of my needs, I, if possible, earn money myself. But when it becomes insufficient and I am out of my money - my husband's pocket comes to the rescue. Therefore, it is difficult to tell the exact amount.
Ihor, 24, married
I spend 40 to 70% of my income on my wife. With the increase in my income, there is an automatic increase in the absolute amounts of funding. Larisa, 35, married
A woman who respects herself will not be an albatross around her husband's neck. To work and earn money for spending it at my discretion is just another step to my self-fulfilment. I never set a goal to be a kept woman for my husband. But if a man gets married, all the more so if a baby appears, I am convinced that the husband is obliged to provide his best half with all the things needed.
In monetary terms, the "cost" of a woman depends on the family income, her husband's income and his generosity. Whatever the income, visiting the hairdresser, manicurist and other professionals is essential for a woman. Add to this the purchase of cosmetics, clothes, etc.
In my opinion, an average woman can cost from 200 UAH a month (an economical option) to the family budget for a family with a minimum income, and 1000 - 3000 UAH for families whose income is 5 - 7 thousand. They say, the woman's looks are the reflection of the her husband's wallet. I think men should not forget that.
Constantine, 35, married
I have to spend at least half of my monthly income on my wife. In addition, a woman needs to live somewhere, so you should see about the comfortable living conditions. In any case, a woman is a very substantial item in the budget.
Svitlana, 30, married
In the current situation, a woman needs at least 3000 UAH a month to feel like a woman. However, a woman is priceless. Therefore, a husband must spend all that he has on his wife. After all, she gives him all her life and does not worry about it.
Ruslan, 33, married
In terms of the expenses, a woman can be compared to a car. But while the expenses on the car are predictable and almost the same every month, with the wife the boot is on the other foor. The percentage of her funding varies depending on the season. If it is an ordinary month, it is about 20% of my income. But if it is the beginning of the season - spring-summer or early winter, this figure rises to 60%. Large funds are spent on updating the wardrobe, accessories. The wife spends her own monthly salary in about 2 - 2.5 weeks. Then I have to subsidize her.
Yulia, 25, single
The size of man's maximum monthly expenses does not exceed UAH 200. And in a year this amount reaches UAH 2000.
Yura, 23, married
Since I already have a child, it is difficult to track the "cost" of my wife. It also includes the money spent on our child. But if you take the average, my wife spends 800 - 1500 UAH a month on herself. And she does not throw money away. She buys strictly the necessary things - clothes, cosmetics, foods. Also, the money is spent on gifts for my wife. Generally speaking, I spend 30 - 40% of my salary on my wife.
Katia, 24, single
Men usually do not spend money on the girl as such. In most cases this is a cultural phenomenon. If a man spends money on you, it is not because he wants to make you pleased or happy. This is a rare thing. The reality is somewhat different. That is, some kind of a romantic wish to make a woman "a little happier", at least for a period when she is chewing a chocolate candy, is turning into a commercial scheme. If I buy something for you - you are obliged to me. I think very few people buy something just for the sake of it.
However, one could also count what's the cost of a man for a modern woman. Given the trend towards equality and the expansion of the service sector where a women can earn money independently, without suffering from her "unmanliness", a man easily "evades" his mission of the protector and other relic roles. I'm not talking about everyone. There are exceptions, but they are from among the endangered mammoths.
(Translated from Ukrainian by Nadia Nykolaichuk)