Office Hugs - a Rule or Undue Familiarity?
Who invented hugging on January 21 and why?
That is how it all started. Australian Juan Mann landed at Sydney Airport and, to his chagrin, discovered that there was no one to meet him. A ballpoint pen and a piece of cardboard came in handy - the creative man used took them and wrote "Free Hugs". Then a woman came up to him and said that she was in sorrow. She was left all alone and needed hugs of support. That was the first holiday hug.
The Australian himself successfully escaped the threat of paying the know-how tax in the amount of $ 25 million and further continued to promote "free hugs", giving them to anyone in need.
Friendly hugs...Or are they something more?
Ukrainians are very choosy, attentive to the friendly social circle. Remember the old sayings about friendship: "old friends and old wine and old gold are best", "a friend in need is a friend indeed", "birds of a feather!", "a man is known by the company he keeps". All of them promote responsibility and careful approach to choosing friends. This really narrows the circle of people whom you can give a friendly hug.
Friendship hugs are an especially topical issue for men, because friendship hugs can be easily confused with something bigger. So should you hug your friends, colleagues at work?
For Americans or residents of Old Europe, for example, everything is much easier. Remember, they were the inventors of social networking and quick friendship, where you can exchange a few words and become friends forever. In short, it is enough to engage in a common cause (it is typical that Ukrainians, unlike them, especially like to make friends with people of other, non-native "areas": policemen, doctors, dentists are the especially the coveted category).
We can not say that Europeans have not learned to distinguish between love and friendship hugs. In point of fact, they do not care why a nice man is hugging another young man in the street. This is due to their tolerant attitude towards sexual minorities and their higher level of democracy.
Ukrainian men do not have the habit of hugging work colleagues. And it is absolutely normal.
Office-style hugs: should you do it?
Are you used to hugging people in your office? It is not a very good idea - it is not recommended by corporate ethics.
Hugs are a union of body and soul. Your company, your department, your office is the realm of intellect and rational thinking. Therefore, it would be appropriate to control not only your words and but also your clothing style. It is important to keep your distance, and not to come up to your colleague closer than 50 centimetres. When you come up closer, in terms of psychology, you interfere with his (her) private space, and in some cases - exert psychological pressure on the colleague.
It is better to show your friendly embraces in another form. If you want to support a colleague - it is better to intensely shake his/her hand on occasion or express your attitude toward his/her achievements, victories and failures in verbal form. It is proven that people begin to hug when they are unable to verbally express feelings and emotions. Therefore, if you feel a wild desire to embrace your colleague, you may instead refine your skill to speak and convey emotions. By the way, you can use virtual hugs in ICQ, Skype, anywhere.
Strict rules within the office and complete relaxedness out of the office is the Europeans' recipe.
Why are friendly hugs not appropriate within the walls of your company?
- Building your business on friendly principles is risky. Effective staff always work in a hostile environment. Lack of touches, violent emotions, kisses and hugs is one of the ways to make the environment aggressive,
- An employee should not feel the comfort of home. Once a person becomes too comfortable, he or she forgets about responsibility. Hugs give a sense of protection, a person becomes quite relaxed and indulgent to him/herself,
- Your hugs may be irreciprocal. Are you sure that in a company where everyone has his/her place in the hierarchy, your hugs will be mutual? Women, for example, tend to perceive your "support" or "politeness" as courtship. Men often interpret women's touch as "stickiness". In any case, at some point you have to give this up.
You should not perceive the above information as a black PR for hugs. Not at all. It is useful to find the distinction between the necessary hugs and bold intrusion into someone's personal space.
So if your hugs are really healing or remedial - then give your hugs to people and enjoy. At least on the Hug Day.
It is interesting that:
hugs stimulate the central nervous system,
women aged 35-40 years hug most often,
20 seconds of hugs permanently kill the stress hormones,
hugging your colleague from the back is like saying "I want you",
if your female colleague is constantly hugging you by the neck, figuratively, she is looking for "a sedative", is experiencing stress and needs support,
a diffident man will never hug his colleague because of his own restraint,
most often huggers are employees of companies that are developing or experiencing hard times. In this way they try to convince each other that everything is ok.
Author: Kateryna Talashuk
Photo: Max Tomashchuk
(Translated from Ukrainian by Nadia Nykolaichuk)
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